Bleeding Love Read online

  Yeah, Sway is a force that you will only understand if you know him. He’s flamboyant and over-dramatic, loves glitter to the degree that it is probably unhealthy, and isn’t afraid to tell you exactly how it is.

  He’s also Stella’s dad.

  But even though I love Stella and even though Dani seems to think this is a brilliant idea, having Sway circle me while muttering, is freaking me way out.

  “Those hips, child! God, only the lucky ones have hips like that. I’ve tried, trust me. I had hips when I was a sexy plump man, but they never looked as good as yours. I bet that gorgeous man just grabs hold and goes to town!”

  My cheeks heat and I hear Stella, who also works at the salon, yell at her dad to stop embarrassing me.

  “Nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve told you before, child, I don’t bat for the kitties but I still think like a man. Well, sometimes. And those hips. Yes, honey . . . oh yes! Now come sit in Sway’s chair and tell me all about that hunk Liam Beckett. ”

  Then my hand is in his and I’m being pulled past Dani and into Sway’s chair.

  “You do realize she is my client, right?” she huffs.

  “No. She was. Now she’s mine. ”

  I watch through the mirror as Dani puts her hands on her slim hips and snaps, “You can’t just steal my appointment. She’s my friend, you weird old man. I swear, if I didn’t love you I would quit. ”

  He laughs, throwing his head back and his arms in the air. “You,” he points to her and then reaches out to unbutton the top button on her black blouse, “Will never learn to let those babies free. Can you believe her?” he asks, looking at me through the mirror. “She has those great girls now that she’s turned into a human milker. Never shows them off. I tell her, time and time again, now that she has the man doesn’t mean she should put them away. And you,” he snaps, turning back to Dani. “Leave me to this sweet child. She needs Sway. You need to go tug up the girls and go give your man a nooner before he calls here, again, and yells at me for keeping you away from the house. ”

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  “He did not yell at you,” she yells. “He just asked if I could take a longer lunch and then got a little upset when I had to leave before we finished. ”

  “Oh yeah, and what didn’t you finish? Huh? You think he was happy with me because you have too many clients? No, not Cohen Cage. Just like his daddy. Wants to lock you up in the bedroom and never let you go. I bet you have another little Cage in that belly before too long. ”

  Her face reddens. “I was talking about lunch, you perv! We didn’t finish lunch!”

  “Hmmm,” he mumbles and starts running his hands through my hair. “And what, honey child, was he eating?”

  My jaw drops when hers snaps shut and I watch, fascinated, when she turns her eyes to me and with a shrug says, “Sorry. Looks like you’re his now. ” Then stomps off to the back room.

  “Uh,” I start.

  “You need to ignore her, sweetheart. I figured out she was pregnant two weeks ago, mind you she has not a clue, but she will. She always gets snappy in the beginning. So, while I love that I get to get my hands on all this hair, I also get her off her feet while she’s back in the breakroom having a snit. So I win, but she wins bigger,” he whispers close to my ear and then pulls back.

  “Pregnant? Again?”

  “I swear it must be a Cage thing. Runs in the family. Super swimmers, both of them. ”

  “Uh,” I mumble.

  “She’ll find out soon enough. If her losing her breakfast this morning was any help, if not, she will when she stops focusing on her best friend’s love life long enough to remember she hasn’t had her lady time yet. ”

  “Oh my God,” I say, still low and soft. Shocked.

  “You, sweet girl, are ready for the new you?”

  I nod, still thinking about how Sway could know that Dani is pregnant before she does.

  “Then sit back and relax, time for me to work my magic. ”

  I nod again, because really what can you do when a man who does heels, skinny jeans and a loose blouse better than you ever could, starts waving his hands around with scissors attached? You sit back and shut the hell up. That’s what you do.

  “You’ve had a hard life, honey,” he tells me some time later, while painting some high or low or whatever he called them lights. I have no idea; he just said it was time to make my blonde hair come to life.

  He looks up from my head and gives me soft, kind eyes. “It takes an old wounded soul to recognize another. ”

  “You?” I don’t finish because his eyes get even softer and he nods.

  “It isn’t easy growing up in the south as a gay man that loves women’s clothing. I wouldn’t say I’m a cross dresser, but I love what I love and that happens to be heels and tight clothes. It wasn’t popular then and it still isn’t now. I’m a lucky man though. I have a wonderful husband and a daughter that is my whole entire world. But, all my life until I moved to Hope Town, I felt the pain of my life choices. People think I’m crazy and that’s okay with me. I can laugh about it now, but I surround myself with things that make me happy and far as I can see, you’re starting to do the same. ”

  “The glitter,” I laugh, looking around his station at everything that shines in the lights around the salon.

  “Oh yes. Started at church camp. My parents sent me there in hope that I could be saved from the devil that lives inside of me. That, well that backfired when I found art inside that camp. Sitting there during arts and crafts time while the glitter fell through my fingers, I was able to find a little happiness that, as you can see, I keep with me at all times. ”

  I chuckle to myself. He isn’t kidding. He really does keep it with him at all times.

  “My light in the darkness. We all have that light, honey. Some people, it’s an object like glitter. Other people, it’s a person that takes their hand and takes the lead. ”

  I look into his eyes. “Is there anything you don’t see?” I ask.

  “Not often. Plus, I cut Lee’s hair the last four times that fine man came in because pregnant patty was too busy taking ‘lunch breaks’ with her husband. ”

  My laughter comes quick and when Sway starts to freak out because I won’t stop moving my head, my laughter climbs. Soon enough, he’s joined in and we don’t stop joking and laughing until he flips off his blow dryer and turns my chair.

  “He isn’t going to know what hit him, honey child!” Sway says as my eyes take in the ‘new’ Megan.

  My blonde hair is still blonde, but now there are strips of dark and light blonde, all looks so natural that you would never guess I just spent the last two hours in Sway’s hands. I never would have thought that my natural light blonde was a bad look, but now seeing this, I feel like I’ve been brought to life. My eyes look brighter and my skin looks darker against the softer color.

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  “You deserve to keep the happiness close to you,” he tells me.

  “I’m trying,” I reply. “Still scares me to pieces. ”

  Which is true. Giving myself to someone, giving them the power over not just my heart, but my daughter’s as well and all of it being so new, is scary. It isn’t that I don’t trust Lee, but when you have had a lot of nothing, then a lot of loss, believing that you can have something beautiful takes time.

  “I imagine it does. I’ll admit, knowing what you’ve lost and honey I am sorry for your loss, but knowing that you lost your husband overseas, I was a little shocked you ended up with another man with a dangerous job. You’re going to be just—what? What did I say?”

  “What’s wrong with Megan?” Stella asks and I turn my shocked eyes from Sway to hers and then I look at myself.

  Pale skin, wide eyes, and a look of fear.

  “What the hell?” My eyes snap to Dani.

  “I never even thought about his job,” I mumble, my fear taking hold and the roots digging in. “Never o
nce crossed my mind that he . . . good God, he wears a gun . . . and a vest! How could I never even realize how dangerous his job is? Oh my God!”

  “Oh, shit,” Stella mumbles.

  “Oh, no,” Sway sighs.

  “You, come with me,” Dani says softly and pulls me from the chair. “You stay,” she tells Sway. “Let’s go. ” Her hand grabs mine and she starts to walk me toward the room she stomped toward earlier.

  I don’t resist, too shocked and too busy thinking about all the things that could happen to Lee while on duty to even process anything else.

  Dani pushes me down to the couch when we walk into the break room and kneels down in front of me. My panicked eyes not focusing on a thing until she taps me on the cheek. Lightly, but with enough force that the shock of it has my eyes focusing on hers.

  “I didn’t like that. You made me slap you and that’s not something I like. But I really don’t like watching you fall back to where you were a year ago. Let me tell you something, honey. Sure, Lee has a job that deals with dangerous situations, but he’s a smart man and he’s trained. He carries a gun and wears a vest because there may come a time when that’s needed, but you cannot let that ruin what you two are starting. ”

  I don’t speak.

  “Megan. You can’t give up on him because his job is a little dangerous. It is nothing like Jack. Nothing. Jack was in a war-torn country and you know without me having to detail it that the types of danger over there are nothing that Lee will have to face. ”

  “I could lose him,” I tell her.

  “You won’t,” she states strongly. “You need to talk to him about this. ”

  I nod my head, but know I most likely will not.

  “Promise?”

  I nod, but don’t give her the words. If I don’t give her the words then I can keep this to myself until I figure out what to do with it.

  “YOU OKAY?” I ASK MEGAN for the tenth time tonight.

  She looks up from where she had been watching Molly color on her children’s menu and gives me a weak smile. Not answering verbally, but telling me without a doubt that she is far from okay with just one look.

  I glance at Molly, seated in between us at the half circle table before turning back to Megan. “We’re going to talk, darlin’. ”

  Her eyes close and she nods, but again no words.

  “Leelee! Look, I made you!”

  I continue to look at Megan and try not to let the worry that she’s holding something back show on my face when I look at Molly.

  Molly turns her menu and when I see what she’s drawn, I pull her close and give her a hug.

  “Tell me about it?” I ask her.

  “Okay! That right there is you,” she says pointing to the blue stick figure. “This is Mommy,” she continues, pointing to the red one. “This is me,” her finger goes to the yellow one. “And this is going to be my baby brother or sister,” she finishes, pointing to the little green dot that I didn’t even notice before.

  I fight to keep my body loose and look over at Megan. Her eyes are wet, but she’s holding it back.

  “Oh yeah?” I ask Molly, not moving my eyes from Megan.

  “Oh yeah,” she says in wonderment her melodious voice sparkling with awe. “Can I have a baby now?” Her eyes don’t leave mine and I have to work even harder now to push down the emotion that threatens my own chest.

  “Little bird,” Megan whispers.

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  “I really want a baby now,” Molly returns her own voice now as hushed as her mother’s.

  “That’s not how it works, sweets,” Megan continues.

  “But, why?”

  I clear my throat and move my eyes from Megan’s pleading ones to Molly’s hopeful ones.

  “But you said Leelee is going to stick like gum. You said it. That means if he’s my new daddy, that you and Leelee can give me a baby!”

  “Hey,” I butt in when I see how much this is costing Megan. “I’m already stuck like bubblegum, little lady. Stuck so sticky and gooey that I’ll happily be stuck forever. One day, but not now, okay? And Molly, I love you and your mommy, and if one day I’m lucky enough for you to call me daddy, it will stick some more happiness right to my heart with a huge big piece of bubblegum, but I won’t be your new daddy. I’ll be your other daddy. ”

  “Why?” she asks, her voice still small but her smile big.

  “Because you, little lady, already have a daddy and even though he’s not here anymore doesn’t mean he isn’t always with you. ”

  I look up when I hear Megan sniffle and reach out to grab her hand over the table. Molly lets the subject drop, but even through her continuous chatter throughout dinner, Megan remains quiet and I know whatever was weighing on her mind hasn’t been made any easier.

  “Talk to me, Megan,” I demand.

  She walks around the couch and sits. I notice, but don’t call her out on it, that she purposely placed her body out of arm’s length.

  Ever since Molly’s bomb dropped at dinner, the dark mood she’s carried with her since I arrived at the house has continued. I’ve waited, not wanting to press while Molly was awake, and put on a smile for her sake. But now, Molly is in bed and I’m not putting up with this shit.

  “I won’t ask again, darlin’. I haven’t seen you in over a week, a long week with your goodnight calls being the only thing pushing me through, but now that I finally have you where I want you, you’re a million miles away. What gives?”

  “Dani’s pregnant,” she says.

  “Good for Dani. Good for Cohen. Not that I’m shocked seeing as they can’t keep their hands off each other. Now I know that isn’t what has you walking around with the weight of the world on your shoulders, so what. Is. The. Problem?” I push, my frustration clear as can be in my voice.

  “You wear a gun,” she oddly says.

  “Not when I’m off duty. I don’t have one on me right now. ”

  “You wear a gun,” she repeats, her voice growing louder. Panicked.

  “Yeah, Megan. I wear a gun. I’m a cop. We wear guns. ”

  “You wear a vest. ”

  “Yeah. Again, I’m a cop. ”

  “You wear a gun and a vest, Lee!” she shrieks and I draw back at her tone.

  “Darlin’,” I call, my frustration bleeding out the instant I realized what this is about. “They’re to keep me safe. ”

  “You . . . you wear a gun and a vest, Lee,” She quivers and wraps her arms around her body.

  I don’t respond, but I do move so that I can pull her into my arms.

  “I thought we were past this, baby. I wear them because for one it’s part of my uniform, but they’re also there to keep me safe. I know how to work a gun, Megan. I’ve known how to work one since I was five. I also know what to do if something happens and I need my gun. I’m not going anywhere. ”

  Her body shakes in my hold and her tears wet my shirt.

  “Megan, please, darlin’, hold onto me and don’t let this pull you under. ”

  “Just the thought of something happening to you kills me, Lee. What if something happens for real? What if I lose you too?” she mumbles against my chest after her cries die.

  It tears me to my core to see her hurting. I’ve wondered if something like this would come up, but I never considered her fearing my career. Putting myself in her shoes though, it makes sense, and I kick myself for not seeing it sooner. Preparing for it.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Megan. Stuck like gum, remember?”

  Her body curls closer and she doesn’t speak.

  “I love you, Megan. Do you really think, for one second, that now that I have you I wouldn’t take every care in the world to make sure I never lose you? That includes my own safety. Things happen, every day things happen, and God willing I hope they never happen to us. If I was ever in the need of my gun or my vest, you have no fears in the knowledge that I will use b
oth to make sure I always come back to you. ”

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  Her head comes up and her tear filled eyes blink a few times before she whispers, “You love me?”

  “Head over heels, in fucking love, darlin’,” I utter back.

  “You’re in love with me?”

  “I’ll say it as many times as you need it, but it won’t change. I’m in love with you. I love you. I love you, Megan—you and Molly. So fucking in love with you that I knew it even before you said your first word to me. ”

  Her tears pick up, this time silent, and her eyes continue to search mine.

  “I didn’t even pause when your daughter asked me if I was going to be her daddy, not when she asked for a baby, and not when I made it clear to her that should I get that honor—and it would be an honor, Megan—that I would love every second of it. Because I can tell you right now, what we’ve been building, that’s the plan. You, Molly and whatever children you give me will never, for a second, doubt how much I love them. ”

  “Your job is scary dangerous to me, Lee. ”

  “I understand, darlin’. I’m not saying that fear is going to go away, but we will work to make sure you can and know how to handle it, okay?”

  She nods her head, the motion making some of the wetness in her eyes roll over and down her cheek.

  “You love me?” she probes.

  “Fuck, you’re cute. ”

  “I love you, Lee. I’m so in love with you that it’s terrifying, but what’s the most scary is I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t know if I’m doing it right. ”

  My chest swells, my heart speeds up and I swear with the way I feel right now, I might as well be Superman. Fuck, hearing her say that. Knowing that it’s costing her to admit, not only to herself but out loud, that she feels love for me that she never felt for her husband.

  “There isn’t a wrong way to love someone, Megan. You keep giving me you and I swear that you will never regret giving me that. ”

  “I’m still scared, Lee. ”

  “We’ll work on that too, darlin’. One step at a time. ”

  She nods.

  I close the distance between our mouths and kiss her deep. Deep and full of unspoken promise. “Go check to make sure Molly is sleeping, baby. ”

  She doesn’t move. Her eyes still half mast and if I had to guess, she hasn’t come out of the fog that kiss put over her.

  “Megan. Go make sure Molly is sleeping. And do it quick before I strip you down and fuck you right here. ”