Bleeding Love Page 17

  She almost trips over her feet when she hurries off the couch and back down the hall. I take my time, making sure the door is locked and the house is shut down, because I have no intention of leaving after tonight.

  “SHE’S ASLEEP. OUT COLD,” SHE tells me and steps toward where I’ve been waiting. I moved to the hallway outside of Molly’s room after turning all the lights off in the house and checking the lock on both front and back doors.

  “I know we said we wouldn’t do this until Molly had time to adjust, but baby she asked us for a baby tonight, I’m pretty sure that’s as adjusted as it gets. I need to get you naked and my mouth on you so I can remind you why you love me so much. ”

  I started stalking toward her before I finished speaking and without waiting for her to speak, I pull her into my arms and drop my mouth to hers. My body pushes hers into the wall next to her bedroom door and my hands grab her hips to pull her closer.

  “I’m not leaving, Megan. ”

  One hand goes up and I take her full breast in my hand, giving her a squeeze and then thumbing her nipple. Her head falls back against the wall and she moans.

  “I don’t want you to leave, Lee,” she pants against my mouth.

  “I’m not talking about tonight, Megan, even though I’m not leaving tonight either. I mean, I’m not going anywhere, darlin’. ”

  She pushes up on her toes and I bend, helping her get my mouth. Letting her take the lead, I open my mouth when her tongue presses against my lips. The second my mouth opens, the kiss turns hungry and her hands claw at my arms. I bend and place her ass in my hands. She doesn’t hesitate to give a little jump and as I lift, her legs wrap around my waist. She deepens the kiss and as our tongues swirl together she starts rocking her pussy against my hard cock. She’s got on another pair of short shorts and through the thin material I can feel the heat of her, making me groan, and then rock my hips forward when she answers me with one of her own.

  I fumble slightly, but make my way into her bedroom without breaking our connection once. Turning before I sit on her bed, I move us until my back is against her wooden headboard and her legs are wide on either side of my hips.

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  “I don’t have any condoms here,” she blurts after pulling her lips from mine.

  I take a deep breath and give her a reassuring smile.

  “Are you clean?” I ask, knowing her answer.

  “Of course, yes. ”

  “I’m checked, often, for work. But even if I wasn’t, I haven’t had anyone but you in over a year. It’s your call, but darlin’, I would love to feel you with nothing between us. ”

  “I’m on the pill. Regulates me, I mean . . . we’re good. ”

  “Then no more condoms, baby,” I tell her with a grin and move my lips back to hers as she blushes.

  My hands move from her ass, under her shirt and up her sides. When I hit her bra, it takes one flip of my wrist to open the clasps. She pushes herself from my mouth with a gasp, moves back so my hands fall to the sides and while looking me in the eye, pulls both her shirt and bra off. Not a second later, her mouth is back on mine and her small hands are pulling at my shirt.

  “Darlin’, what’s the hurry?” I ask when I pull back to remove the shirt that she has been so desperately trying to claw to shreds.

  Her breathing is coming rapidly and she lets her head roll back as her hips continue to rock against mine. I’m not even sure she heard me.

  “I need to feel you. ” Her voice is wild, anxious, and I know in that moment that this is something more than sex.

  More than making love.

  More than just us.

  It hits me, that after everything that’s been running through her head today, that she really does need this. She needs to feel me and know that I’m still here.

  “Then take me, darlin’,” I tell her and look deep in her eyes, hoping that with that look I’m showing her how much I love her. “Take me. Take everything, Megan. ”

  She makes a noise. It’s a heartbreaking mix between a cry and a moan before her hands come forward and she starts to desperately claw at my belt, needing it out of the way with a fever that has her crying out when it doesn’t unhook right away. I give her what she needs; helping her undo my belt and I push her hands aside when she goes to my jeans, knowing that she will just get frustrated again.

  She scurries off my lap and I watch, while pulling the buttons on my jeans apart, as the rest of her clothes come off. Before I can push my jeans any further than down my hips and around my ass, she’s back in my lap, her lips on mine the second that her ass hits my lap. This time, I help build the kiss and pray that some of that desperation will be healed when she takes me.

  Her small hands come up and she takes my face between them, slowing her kiss down until her tongue is making lazy sweeps.

  “Darlin’,” I moan when she starts to rock against me. “What do you need?”

  “You. Just you,” she answers.

  “Then. Take. Me. ”

  She doesn’t. She looks into my eyes, hers still holding onto her fear, but she does not take me.

  “Megan. I’m here. Fuck, baby, I’m close to coming with just feeling your wet pussy against my cock. Please, take me. ”

  Again, she doesn’t move.

  “Megan. ”

  Nothing.

  “Darlin’,” I murmur, my hands coming up to curl around her neck.

  At my touch, her eyes drop and my heart clenches when I see a tear roll out.

  “Baby,” Kiss. “Please, take me. ”

  She opens her eyes and shakes her head.

  “Megan,” I start, my own worry starting to climb, causing me to hold my breath when she interrupts me.

  “Help me,” she whimpers.

  I give her a squeeze with my hands resting on her hips and cock my brow, letting her know without words that she never has to doubt. She pushes up with her thighs as I help lift her weight and one hand comes off my shoulders to wrap around my cock. I moan the second her fingers close around me and my hips jerk. Fuck me, it’s going to take an act of God to last longer than a second.

  With her eyes locked on mine, she drops down until her ass is flush to my thighs and my cock is deep inside her wet pussy. She doesn’t move past the slow rocking of her hips.

  “Megan, take me. Take what you need to know I’m right here,” I beg and relax the bruising hold my fingers have on her hips.

  It’s fascinating to watch, the way that she is healing with just a connection to my body, but as she slowly rocks, the fear that had been prominent in her gaze weakens until it’s all but gone. In its place, hope and love start to burn bright. The worry lines around her eyes, fade, and the tight pinch of her lips relaxes until her mouth is parted with gasping pants. Finally, the tiny furrow of her brows pulls back and when her eyes fill with tears this time I know they aren’t anywhere close to the ones that wept out earlier.

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  These are tears that recognize what we’re doing.

  Feeling tears.

  Tears that don’t just feel a little—they feel everything.

  Her hands roam over my chest, until she pushes them up to curl around my shoulders. Mine move from her hips and up her torso until both of her full breasts are in my hands. I roll her nipples between my fingers. Her breathing hitches and I release her nipples and run my fingertips down her body, lightly grazing. My eyes follow the path as goosebumps spark all over her body, followed by a quiver that lightly jolts her body.

  When my hands move back to her hips, I give her a squeeze.

  “Take it. ”

  Her eyes close at my demand. And then, she takes it.

  The hands at my shoulders dig deep, until I know I’ll have her nails indenting the skin when we finish, and those thighs start moving. Up slowly, just to slam her body down before rocking forward. She repeats her movements, each time building in speed
. It takes every ounce of willpower to keep my body still and let her take what she needs when all I want to do is flip her to her back and pound into her. My cock is aching from the force of my desire.

  “Take it, Megan. Fuck me, take it, darlin’. ”

  She moans and speeds up again, this time her movements jerky and I know she’s close.

  “God, you feel so fucking good taking my cock. ”

  “Lee,” she moans.

  “Take it. ”

  Her head moves and those nails dig deeper. Then her lips are on mine and with her tongue dancing with mine, I swallow her screams.

  I pull back when I feel the last spasm against my cock and look into her heavy eyes. “You need me to take over baby? Rock hard and the way you’re coating my balls with your come is only making me harder. ”

  She hums and nods her head before taking my mouth again. When I flip her to her back, her head is hanging off the bottom of her bed. Thankfully she has a bed with just a headboard, giving me more room to play. I lift up on my knees until I’m kneeling with her pussy still clamped tight around me then I lift her hips a little more until just her shoulders are resting against the bed.

  “You need something to hold on to?”

  I feel her walls give a squeeze and her head rolls.

  Pushing in while I lift off from kneeling has my cock hitting her deeper than I have before. Her hands come up from fisting the sheets next to us and wrap around my wrists. When I sink back in, rocking her body with the force of my thrust, her head comes up and her eyes shoot to where my cock is gliding in and out of her body. Wet with her juices.

  We both moan.

  “Please,” she begs.

  Sweat drops down my back and I lean forward, panting. I lose the hold I had on her hips and move my hands to the bed, hovering just above her while my cock is still deep.

  “Please what, darlin’. Tell me what you need. ”

  “I need to feel all of you,” she says softly. “Cover me and take me, but I have to feel you. ”

  Understanding hits and my heart pounds even quicker. God, my sweet girl. She might understand that while my job holds a fraction of the danger that her husband’s did, but she needs to rid herself of those ghosts today’s spell brought back, by reminding herself that I am very much alive.

  And to do that, she needs to feel.

  Feel alive.

  I close my eyes and drop my head to hers. My body follows until I’ve given her as much weight as I can. Her legs come up and wrap tightly around my hips. I feel her arms at my side and then around my back. Then, her head comes up and her mouth fuses with mine.

  Only then, when she’s completely wrapped herself around me, do I continue to move inside her. My arms against the mattress, elbows digging in, and hands in her hair. There isn’t an inch of our bodies that doesn’t feel the other. Even though my body is screaming for it, I rock slowly, and give her everything that she needs.

  With each thrust, I pray that she feels what she needs. Our lips never part and when I feel her walls tighten and her wetness coat my cock, only then do I push deep and come harder than I’ve ever felt before.

  “I love you,” she whispers in my ear, her breathing coming in choked pants.

  “I love you, too, Megan. So much, darlin’. ”

  IT’S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I lost my mind over Lee’s job. A month of him handling me with care, but also a month that’s been full of healing. It’s been hard at times, but he’s been there for every stumble to help pick me back up. At his urging I started seeing a grief counselor. I’ll admit now that it’s a step I should have taken on my own years ago, but with both of their help, I’ve been able to let go of almost all of my pain. Lee started coming to my twice a week meetings at the counselor’s urging. It started about three weeks after I started going and I’m glad I made that step. Having him with me, his hand in mine, was a strength I needed to get through some hard memories.

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  It was also through those meetings that he made it clear, sometimes with and sometimes without words that a huge part of him fell in love with me because of my strength. I didn’t understand it, because I’ve felt nothing but weakness, but Lee told me, in those meetings, that only a person with a strength of an army would keep fighting to live. I couldn’t see it, living in pain, but he’s right—something I can see now—I’ve been fighting my whole life. Losing Jack was a hard blow and even though it took me a long time to battle the depression his death set upon me, I never gave up.

  Another milestone that we made as our new threesome, was Lee’s relationship with Molly. I haven’t been shocked that she fell into her love for him easily, that’s just who Molly is. She doesn’t doubt her feelings.

  Needless to say, they have been inseparable. Regardless of if we’re at our house, his, or out, my daughter is always as close as she can get to him. Lee and I talked about it and we both agree that it is just the way Molly is. She wants him to know how much he means to her, but because she’s so young she doesn’t know how to verbalize it, instead she gives him what she can. Herself.

  Seeing them together was a big part in my healing. Seeing that she loves him as much as I do, gives me the reassurance that we’re where we’re meant to be.

  Lee showed me again how big his heart was when he fell into his new role as a father figure with effortless ease. His protective nature only adding to the power in which his bond formed with her. You can tell, there is nothing but love that he feels for his girls.

  And that’s what we’ve become—gladly—to him. We’re his girls and he . . . he is our man.

  Today is my last step in letting go. One that I’ve been putting off, but now I know needs to happen for us all to move on completely pain free. I don’t think I was putting it off because I wasn’t ready, but more that I didn’t know how to do it or what to say.

  How do you tell your dead husband that you’ve moved on?

  I look up and see Lee walking with Molly as I trail behind them. When we got to the graveyard he had asked for me to give him a second and then took off in the direction I had told him when he asked where Jack was. When he reached his hand out for Molly’s my reaction couldn’t be stopped. I gasped, but Lee being his confident self, just gave me soft eyes.

  Which leads me to now, as I watch them strolling through the headstones hand in hand. I move to a bench about ten paces from Jack’s spot and wait. I used to only come every month, sometimes when the pain was too much, I wouldn’t come until it eased up a little. Now, for the last year, I’ve been coming with Molly every two weeks. This, however, is the first time we’ve asked Lee to come.

  Lee stops and I see him reading over the headstone, then he kneels and pulls Molly closer. Her little arms hug his back and her head turns to rest against his shoulder.

  When his lips start moving, facing Jack, my heart speeds up and deep down I know he isn’t talking to Molly. She doesn’t move, but her arm pulls his shirt as her fist grabs hold of the material.

  Call it an invasion of his privacy, whatever you want, but nothing in that moment could have kept me from walking over. My eyes don’t leave where they’re at, his head turns but his words don’t stop and he turns back, acknowledging that I’m coming regardless, but he doesn’t stop.

  Then his words hit my ears.

  And if I had any fears left in my body about this new path for Molly and me, they vanished in a heartbeat.

  “Like I said, you don’t know me, but I like to think we would have gotten along. Hell, we might have played golf on my off days, had beers while watching the game, who knows. I hate thinking it, because it isn’t fair that you lost your way, but when you did, it made it possible for me to find mine. It gave me my girls and I wouldn’t be the man I am right now without their love. Rest easy knowing that not a day will pass that I won’t make sure they know how grateful I am that I’ve been given that gift. Not a day will pass that I don’t show the
m how much I love them in return. I’ll fight to keep them safe. I would give my own life to make that promise a reality if need be. And one day, if Molly decides it so, I hope to share the title you had while in her world, but if that day never comes, I’ll still love her as if she was my own. I owe you my thanks and so much more for loving Megan and bringing her everything she needed while you were here. You have no worries now, brother, knowing that I’ll do everything in my power to give them the world. They’ve both given me everything I’ve dreamt of just by handing over their love and I’ll never take that for granted. ”

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  My God.

  This man.

  I move forward and take the last two steps that take me to his side. My hand comes out and I run my fingers through his hair.

  “Hey, Jack,” I say and continue my sweep of his thick hair. “I guess you met Lee. ”

  I hear both Lee and Molly laugh, but I keep my eyes pinned to the stone in front of me.

  “I miss you, Jack. ” I tell the stone. “I miss you, but that’s okay. It doesn’t hurt anymore. ” Lee’s hand moves and I feel him reach out to grab the hand that isn’t playing with his hair. I can’t stop my movements. Touching Lee, having that, is keeping me grounded right now. “Molly is so big. The top of her head hits Lee right at his belt. She does this really cute thing when she sees him in uniform—he’s a cop, you know—and thinks it’s hilarious that she can’t give him a hug with his belt on because all of his special police stuff whomps her in the head. ” I take a deep breath, calming my racing heart and hopefully stopping my rambling. “Anyway. I’m happy, Jack. So happy that sometimes I think my heart is going to burst right out of my body. I get these waves in my stomach when Lee’s around and sometimes I feel like I might puke,” I stop when I feel Lee’s body moving as he laughs. “What?”

  “Darlin’, not sure it’s a good thing I make you want to puke,” he laughs.

  “Mommy that’s icky,” Molly chimes in.

  I roll my eyes at the stone and continue. “Anyway. I feel, Jack, I feel so much and for a long while I didn’t feel anything. You left and I just felt emptiness and pain. Now it’s like I feel everything, but those feelings are amplified. It’s so beautiful. ”

  The headstone doesn’t reply. The breeze around us picks up and I smile into the wind.