Bleeding Love Read online

  “I love you, Jack. You gave me and Molly a beautiful life and even though you had to leave us, that beautiful life turned into a beautiful forever. ”

  Lee’s hand gives me another squeeze and I lose my hold on his hair when he stands, taking Molly up with him. His arm goes around my shoulders and when I’m pulled into his side, I wrap my arms around him. In the end, both Molly and I have Lee in the circle of our arms as he holds us tight.

  “You gave me the world, Jack. I can never thank you enough for that kind of gift. Rest easy. ”

  Molly looks away from Lee when he finishes and whispers toward the stone, “I love you, Daddy. ”

  And with dry eyes watching the wind quiet, I tell my husband goodbye. “We love you, forever, Jack. We’ll miss you just as long. I know somewhere up there you’re smiling huge and loving the fact that I’m living a life that’s full and I promise you that I will take each day head on looking forward to that beauty. ”

  When we turn to walk back to Lee’s truck, not once do any one of us let our hold slip.

  “DON’T BE NERVOUS,” LEE TELLS me, tightening his hold on my clammy hand.

  “What’s that mean?” Molly asks from her perch in Lee’s other arm.

  “Your mommy has so many butterflies in her belly she’s about to squeeze off my fingers, her hand’s holding mine so tight. So many little ticklish butterflies in her belly,” Lee’s deep voice rumbles in response.

  “Why did you put butterflies in there, Mommy?” her melodious voice chirps, easing some of my nerves.

  I turn my head, looking away from the front door of Lee’s family home, and before looking at my beautiful daughter; I stare at the strong man holding her. His warm gaze bringing a deep breath to my lungs that washes over me like a calming touch.

  “Lee,” my voice sounds in hushed tones.

  “I asked you a while ago to just take my hand, darlin’, I wasn’t just asking you to do the action. It was my nonverbal promise to you that I wouldn’t let go. Each step forward, we do together. I’m here and I’m not letting go. You’ve got not one thing to be nervous about, but I understand why you are. They’re going to love you and they’re going to love Molly. Not just because I love you both, but also because if anyone knows what it feels like to overcome from pain to find beauty, it’s my parents. Trust me, okay?”

  His hand gives me a squeeze and even though I still feel some of those nerves, he’s right. I’ve never been given a reason to question that.

  “She’s got princess shoes,” Molly whispers in Lee’s ear loud enough that I move my eyes from his, up to hers and then follow them forward to see his mom standing in the doorway, wringing her own hands in front of her nervously.

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  Of course I know who his parents are. In the last two years of me being pulled into the fold, I’ve been to a few gatherings where all the parents were also in attendance. I also know that she’s Dani’s mom’s best friend and has been for years and years before they had Dani and Lee, thus the reason that Dani and Lee were destined to be best friends even before birth.

  But besides the small smile in passing, I’ve never spoken to either of them.

  Add to that the small fact that their son has fallen in love with a woman with baggage of a widowed mom.

  A woman, that until about five months ago, hasn’t been able to see the beauty in life past her guilt filled grief.

  A woman that they very well may see as someone not good enough for their son.

  And that’s what’s been keeping me so full of nerves that I’ve been on the edge of puking all day.

  “She always has princess shoes on, little lady. Even when she’s cleaning the house or doing laundry. My mom, she’s a silly girl. ”

  Lee’s voice pulls me back from my scared thoughts and I steady my breathing, give him a squeeze and when his feet start carrying us up the driveway, toward his waiting mother, I follow and pray that I don’t make a fool of myself.

  And that his mother won’t see Molly and me as the wrong choice for her son’s future.

  “Hey, Mom,” he greets when we reach the front porch. “Meet my girls, Molly and Megan. ”

  I gulp and give her what I hope is a welcoming smile. She looks at her son with love in her eyes before they turn to me.

  “Megan,” she breathes. “It’s so good to finally, formally, meet you. We’ve been waiting for this. ”

  “Uh, hi,” I squeak and Molly laughs.

  “Mommy has butterflies all inside her belly. Leelee told me so. ”

  I feel my face heat and my hand gets a gentle tug. I look up and meet Lee’s gaze. He gives me a wink and then his face washes with love and compassion. His expression filling my heart instantly with his love and effectively kicking the crap out of those butterflies.

  Turning back to his mom, I reach out my hand, and blurt, “I did. They were crazy butterflies that fluttered their wings so much I couldn’t take a deep breath. So, hi, I’m Megan and I’m absolutely terrified that you won’t like me. ”

  I feel Lee shaking with his amusement, but my eyes are transfixed on his mom as I watch, with fascination, as her eyes, so much like Lee’s, fill with understanding before my hand is knocked to the side as her body moves forward. Her arms reach out and wrap around my middle and then she gives me a hug that knocks the wind out of my chest with her strength.

  “Oh, honey. I was in love with you before I even knew who had stolen my son’s heart. Have no worries about that. You keep doing whatever has that smile on my boy’s face. I swear, it’s been like watching his father all over again these last few months. ”

  I don’t know what to say. Or do. So I follow my gut, drop Lee’s hand, and hug his mom back just as tight.

  “He’s easy to love,” I tell her honestly.

  “I know,” she whispers. “It’s a Beckett thing. ”

  I laugh, but don’t let go.

  “Uh, Mom. You think I could have my woman back now?” Lee laughs.

  “No, you can’t,” she snaps and continues to hug me tight.

  “Dee, baby, let go of Lee’s woman and let them come inside. ”

  I open my eyes at the new voice and look up into Lee’s father’s eyes. If I thought he looked like his mom, I was wrong. Lee is the spitting image of his father and I have no doubt that when Lee gets older, his good looks will only become richer. John Beckett, or Beck as I’ve heard so many call him, has the same thick dark brown hair as his son. His strong bone structure a mirror to his son’s. You can tell that he laughs hard, and often, because the smile lines on his tan face are deep, even when he’s just smirking.

  Lee’s dad is smoking hot.

  Of course, his mom is downright stunning too, so it isn’t a shock to me that Lee is as handsome as he is.

  “You look like my Leelee,” Molly states in awe.

  “Hey, sweet girl, I sure do. Want to know why?” Lee’s dad asks her.

  “Yup!” she shouts.

  Lee’s dad chuckles deep in his throat, “That’s because he’s my Lee too. We’re his mom and dad. He looks like us just like you look like your mom. ”

  When Dee lets go of my body, I turn and watch Molly move her eyes from Lee’s smiling face, back to his father’s. Then in typical Molly fashion, she gives out more of her love.

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  “Yay! That means you’re mine too. I get to keep you and I’m never, ever, ever going to give you away! Do you want a makeupover?” she exclaims in rushed excitement. “Mommy, yay!” she finishes at a whisper. “We get more. ”

  And just like that, a sense of calm I never thought possible earlier today rushes over me and I smile at my daughter. “We sure do, little bird. So much so, that we have everything. ”

  Lee reaches out and grabs my hand, this time not to give reassurance in the face of my nerves, but to confirm that we do, in fact, have everything.

  “Right,” Lee’s mom speaks, but pau
ses to clear her throat. When I look back to her, her eyes are misty and she gives me a smile. “Well, now that that’s settled. Molly, do you want to come and help me make the table?”

  Molly gives Lee a hug around his neck, kisses his check, and then asks, “Can I go play with your mommy, Leelee?”

  “Call me, Dee, baby. I have a feeling that will change soon though,” she oddly adds, making her husband laugh low in his throat

  “Leelee, can I go play with mommy Dee?”

  God, my girl.

  Lee gives her a nod and with a smile, sets her on her feet. She doesn’t waste a second taking Dee’s offered hand and following her into the house.

  “Nice to finally meet you, Megan. You’ve made our boy real happy,” his dad says when Molly and his wife move out of sight.

  Turning back to him, I take his offered hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Beckett,” I respond and stiffen when he starts to laugh. The lines around his eyes deepening with his mirth.

  “Call me Beck, honey, everyone does. ”

  “All right, Mr. Beck,” I confirm.

  He laughs harder. This time Lee annoyingly joins in.

  “Just Beck, drop the mister. We’re family here and Megan . . . welcome to the family. ”

  Family. I nod, not trusting my voice. Just like that his parents have openly accepted both Molly and me, giving us the family I always wanted for my daughter. One that loves without reservations and opens their arms immediately, no questions asked, to give that love freely.

  When Jack and I were married, we knew that we would never be able to give Molly this. My parents, being the drunken, drug filled messes they were, have been long since forgotten. Jack’s parents were just as bad. His mom died when he was younger and his dad; never able to put the bottle down before that, never fell into his role as a parent. Thus, Jack was just Jack. We learned his father had passed away a few months after we married and left town. Knowing all that, we were okay that Molly would have only us. It wasn’t until recently that I realized how much it had bothered me that she wouldn’t have a large family full of love.

  I look up at Lee and smile, brightly, thankful for yet another gift this man made a reality, when his unwavering determination to make us an “us” has paid off. It was through his strength and love that we have a future so bright it burns.

  This time, that burn, one I had felt differently before, was welcome. Before I had no ashes left to be reborn from, because the pain burned too strong. But now, because of the burn of his love on our life, taking away the ashes left from my guilt and suffering, I just know the new life born from the last will be overrun with love and happiness.

  It’s our future.

  “And this one, well, our Liam went through a stage that lasted almost six months. In that time he was naked every time we turned around. Beck thought this was hilarious, which is why there are so many pictures. I, however, did not. Do you know how embarrassing it is when your son gets buck naked in the middle of the supermarket?”

  I shake my head and laugh even harder than I had in the last hour of Dee showing me old pictures of Lee. Once I got over my nerves, it was like I had been a part of this family forever. Molly has been on cloud nine too. Going from helping his mom set out the takeout—because according to Dee, she does not cook—then talking Beck’s ear off about all the things we do as a threesome, to which Beck’s handsome smile grew even larger, and those lines got even deeper.

  “But I got him back, his father I mean. He didn’t think it was funny when our little nudist stopped being a nudist and started wearing my heels all over the house. Oh, he didn’t think that was funny one bit, but I did. God didn’t see it fit for us to have a girl, but he did give me a boy that had no problems walking in four-inch heels,” she laughs.

  “He didn’t,” I gasp, shocked at the picture before me of Lee. He looks to be Molly’s age, huge smile, dimple sticking out and his mother’s bright red heels on his feet. “Oh my God, he did!” My giggles turn into deep belly laughs at this point.

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  “What are you two in here cackling about?” Beck asks, rounding the couch and settling in next to his wife. “Oh Dee, your son is going to kill you,” he gruffs with a smile.

  “Oh hush, old man. He isn’t going to do anything of the sort. ”

  “If you don’t stop showing his woman all those embarrassing pictures of him, he will. ”

  She turns and narrows her eyes at her husband. “I’ve been waiting his whole life for this moment. When my little man would bring home his future. All my life, John Beckett. You do not spoil this for me. ”

  I wouldn’t have guessed, because she seems so soft-spoken and sweet, that his mom would have a backbone that would snap tight, but I was wrong. She may look the part of quiet and motherly, but right in this moment, I can tell where Lee got a lot of his stubborn grit.

  Beck’s eyes soften and he gazes at his wife with love written all over his body. “Pull those claws back, wildcat,” he hums, his voice sounding deeper, rawer, and I instantly feel like I’m intruding on something a little too intimate.

  “Would you two stop?” Lee laughs and drops down next to me. His eyes hit the open photo album seconds before shooting back to his mom. “You didn’t,” he groans.

  “I did. Don’t you start on me either, Liam. I’m your mother and it’s my mother duty to share all of your embarrassing moments with your girlfriend. You haven’t given me the chance before and if I’m judging right, I won’t need another, so I’m taking it and you can just deal. ”

  Lee puts his hands up, surrendering to his mom, and pulls me back to his chest.

  “Molly, come here, little lady! Old grandma Dee has some funny pictures to show you. ”

  Dee’s eyes narrow at his reference to her age, but when Molly comes skipping into the room, her face goes soft. “Just Grandma, honey or nanny works too. Don’t listen to that grumpy man. He’s just mad he doesn’t fit in my shoes anymore,” Dee tells her and we all laugh when Lee starts to sputter.

  We continue looking through the photo albums, laughing when Lee gets embarrassed, but true to her word, his mom doesn’t stop until the last book is finished.

  “That was a terrible thing to do to your only son,” he grumbles and leans back crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Mommy, Leelee is having a fit,” Molly snickers.

  “He sure is, little bird,” I tease.

  “You just wait, Liam,” Dee starts. “You just wait. ” She looks over at me, “You make sure and take lots of pictures of Molly and any more children you’re blessed with. You’ll love this moment just as much as I have. I don’t have a daughter, but I’m sure if I did, this lump here would be doing the same thing I just did,” she says and points to Beck before laughing when he pulls her to his side.

  “The hell I would,” he rumbles, giving her a soft kiss before looking at me. “But I would be cleaning every gun I own at the approximate time that any man was due to arrive,” he tells me in all seriousness.

  “That’s not a bad idea,” Lee mutters to himself and I look over at him. “What?” he questions, throwing his hands up. “It’s a good idea. When Molly starts dating it’s also one I won’t forget. ”

  “What?” I ask lamely.

  “Darlin’, she looks like your twin now at five. Add ten years to that and I’m going to go out of my mind when boys start coming around. ”

  His parents laugh and Molly joins in, but I just look at him. Right when I’m about to respond he opens his mouth and shocks me again.

  “You give me more girls and I’ll have to buy more guns though. You give me some boys and I’ll make sure they know how to help me clean those guns. I figure though, with me being a cop, there isn’t going to be a single knucklehead that messes with my girl. ”

  “What’s a knucklehead,” Molly questions, breaking into my thoughts.

  “Boys are knuckleheads,” Lee tel
ls her. “And I don’t want knuckleheads near my girl. ”

  His parent’s laughter grows.

  “That’s me, right?” Molly inquires.

  “That’s right, little lady. You’re all mine forever and ever. ”

  She twitters a laugh that sounds like a happier version of her chirpy bird giggles.

  “Mommy, I love being Leelee’s girl. ”

  I don’t hear his parents laughing now. My eyes don’t leave Molly’s when I nod and tell her how much I love that too. But I don’t need to see his parents to know how happy they are for their son.

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  When Molly’s arms reach out and wrap around both mine and Lee’s neck, I hug her back and close my eyes, loving every second of our little threesome. But my thoughts are confirmed when I hear his dad, gruff voice that is thick with emotion, tell his son four words that make my throat thick with emotion.

  “Proud of you, son. ”

  AS PROMISED, LEE’S WORK SCHEDULE and the rain finally synced up. Last night, while watching Lee and Molly have the cutest tea party I’ve ever seen, it started to rain. Not just any rain, this one shook the whole house with its power. Lee stops, teapot in hand mid pour, looks at me across the room. His smile was no less knee-melting, but it held a youthful excitement to it that had me pausing.

  I’ve seen a lot of Lee smiles in the past. The ones when I first started coming around, before we came together, held mischief. After our first night together, they held promise of his determination. Then, while I was busy ignoring and avoiding, even though his smile still held that determination, there was also a small hint to what my avoidance was doing to him. A little dip on the left side that prevented his dimple from coming all the way out, a little dip that showed me it cost him to keep his distance. Now, the only smile he gives us is one that expresses his love toward Molly and me.

  Until this one.

  This new one that I’ve never seen.

  And mixed with the love on his face, this exuberance toward something as simple as rain, gives my heart pause before picking back up as if it’s in the race of a lifetime.

  It’s feels freaking amazing.

  “It’s raining, darlin’,” he told me.

  “Cats and dogs,” Molly jokes.

  He looks across the expanse of the tea party covered table. “Yeah, little lady, huge dogs and fat cats. Do you hear how loud they are?”