Bleeding Love Read online

  “My guess? They probably just fall behind or under the dryer. ”

  Her eyes narrow.

  “Or maybe they vanish to a mysterious land,” I add with a smile.

  Her eyes soften and she smirks. “Okay, so I’ll admit that maybe I’m losing my mind because I have to finish this book and I know that, I do, but I can’t seem to figure out how to end it. It’s like the ending is right there, and I know it’s going to be so beautiful, I just can’t find the right words. ”

  I reach out and lightly tug at her biceps until she shuffles forward, wrapping her arms around my waist and dropping her forehead against my chest.

  “It’s right there, Lee. ”

  I fold her in my arms and bend to kiss the top of her head. “Maybe, darlin’, you can’t find the words because the story isn’t finished. ”

  Her head tips up and rests against my chest with her chin. “Meaning?”

  “I’m not going to pretend to understand what goes on in your head when you’re writing those brilliant books of yours, but baby, you’ve told me enough about this book that I see all the parallels with our own story. Maybe you can’t find the end because it’s not ready to be written. ”

  Her nose crinkles and she bites her lip.

  “I love you, darlin’. Take the time you need to work it out. I’ll go pick up Molly from Mom and we’ll go out to lunch. That should give you a few hours to figure out what you need. ”

  “Okay, I can do that,” she says, but I can tell she isn’t paying attention. I’ve already lost her to her words.

  I love watching her work. I could have a full conversation with her and she wouldn’t hear a word of it because her mind is still playing chess with her characters.

  I also wasn’t kidding when I told her why I think she’s held up on ending her newest book. She’s let me read the beginning of The Helping Hand, a book she told me was titled after me. Or better yet, my urging in the beginning of our relationship to take my hand. It wasn’t a shock after hearing that that the book she’s working on might as well be a biography of her life.

  Which is exactly why I think she can’t finish it.

  Yet.

  But that should all change soon.

  As long as my lunch date with my favorite five-year-old goes as planned, that is.

  “I’ll be home later,” I tell her and kiss her forehead again.

  “Buckle up, little lady,” I tell Molly before shutting the door of my truck and turning back to my mom.

  “She’s a sweetheart, Liam. ”

  “I know, Mom. Best girl in the world,” I tell her, making her smile grow.

  “I’m guessing you already know this, if I’m judging your plans today correctly, but you don’t have to worry. That little girl already thinks the world of you. ”

  I close my eyes and nod.

  “In fact, I think you’ll be happy with what you find out if you just ask her. ”

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  “Ask her what, Mom?”

  “To be her daddy,” she leans forward and whispers, looking behind me where Molly is singing along to the radio.

  “She’s already got a daddy, Mom. I would love to hear those words from her one day, but I don’t want to take her father’s place. I’d gladly share the role, but not take it when it’s already been taken. God, I’m a nervous mess. ”

  She reaches forward and pats my cheek, “I know you are. It’s a big step, but one I know you’re ready for. I’ve told you over and over how much of your father I see in you, but watching you fall in love with Megan really brought that home. Don’t second guess yourself, son. I understand what you’re saying about Molly and her daddy, but just because she has a father that she lost, doesn’t mean you would be replacing him by stepping into those shoes. That girl has more love to give then she could ever figure out how to give out. ”

  “As far as I’m concerned she’s already my daughter. ”

  My mother’s wise eyes look into mine and she smiles, “And as far as your father and I are concerned she’s already our granddaughter, so . . . I suspect it’s up to you to make that official. ”

  I laugh, say my goodbye and then hug my mom before jumping into the driver’s seat.

  “You and me have a date today,” I tell a smiling Molly.

  Her eyes grow huge and she looks over at me like I hold all the secrets in the world. “A date?”

  “Yeah. You’re my favorite little girl in the whole entire universe. It’s time for me to show you off. Let everyone know that you’re mine. ”

  Her eyes don’t lose their wide wonderment, but she gives me a small grin. “I’m yours?” she questions.

  “Forever and ever, stuck with the biggest, stickiest, gooiest piece of bubblegum in the whole world. ”

  She laughs, loud, and smiles at me with her crooked smile.

  Molly chatters off and on about everything she did at my parent’s house the night before. I don’t hear much, my nerves too busy holding my attention, but I slip in responses here and there, each time her big smile grows a little more.

  God, I love that kid.

  When we get to the Italian restaurant that she loves so much, I make a big production of walking around to her side of the truck, pulling the back door of the duel cab open, and offering her my arm after helping her climb down. The whole time she just giggles.

  Her snickers don’t stop until we’ve placed our order and our drinks are delivered.

  “Leelee?”

  “Yes, sweetheart?”

  “I love you more than the moon,” she says softly with an undertone of unsureness that has me moving from the seat in front of her, to the one next to her.

  “Molly, look at me baby,” I demand and wait for her to move her light brown eyes from her water. “You want to know a secret?”

  Her small head nods and she continues to study my face.

  “I had another reason, other than showing the prettiest five-year-old in the whole universe off, to take you out on a date, just me and you. You see, I have big huge plans that I need to make with you. Plans I need to be kept a super-secret, secret. Can you do that?”

  She gives me another nod, a small smile coming over her face, and I can tell she’s losing some of that uncertainty that had come when telling me that she loved me. This little girl, having gone through so much in her little life, who loves bigger than anyone I know, is actually afraid I would turn her love away.

  “You need to know, without a single doubt that I love you back, sweetheart. I love you just as much as I love your mommy, and that, Molly, is huge. ”

  “How huge?” she whispers.

  “All the way to the sun. All the way to the moon. All the way to the farthest star away from us. And then back again. ”

  “That’s really, really far away,” she gasps.

  “It sure is. I told you. I love you huge, sweetheart. ”

  She’s silent for a few seconds and I sit back. When her small hand reaches out and lands on the one I have resting just besides her water glass, I look back up and see questions in her eyes.

  “What’s on your mind, Molly?”

  “If you love me huge and I love you huge, does that mean that you’ll be my second daddy now?”

  And my heart, when I didn’t think it could get any bigger, grows so large my chest burns with it.

  “There isn’t anything I would love more, Molly. ”

  “Yay,” she says, her tone soft and her eyes bright.

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  “Yay,” I answer in my own hushed tone.

  “One more thing, baby, and then we can have the best spaghetti in town. Are you ready for that big, huge secret? You can’t tell anyone. ”

  Her head bobs, each long blonde ringlet dancing against her skin.

  “In a few days, I’m going to take your mommy somewhere, somewhere special to us because the last time we were there she took my hand and nev
er let it go. This time, sweetheart, this time I’m hoping that she takes my hand again. The only difference is, when she takes it this time, it means the three of us become a family. ”

  “That sounds fun, Le—Daddy,” she whispers.

  And there goes that sharpness in my chest. Again.

  “I have to ask you something first though, Molly. Something that’s a huge secret so you can’t tell your mommy, but I have to ask you because in order to have your mommy give me her hand, I want to know you will too. ”

  She pats my hand and laughs. “I already gave you my hand, silly. ”

  I smile and nod. “You sure have, sweetheart. But what I mean is, I’m going to ask your mommy for her hand so that I can give her a ring. A beautiful ring that only queens and princesses get. And if she tells me yes, I get to take her hand and put that big beautiful ring on there. That way everyone knows that your mommy took my hand forever and ever. ”

  I reach down into my jeans and pull out a bracelet that I had picked up last weekend. It’s a simple silver bracelet with one charm hanging on it. The charm is a single teapot with a base made of three diamonds. One for her, one for her mom and one, for me.

  “I don’t have a ring for you, little lady, but I do have this. I want to give you this so that everyone knows that you gave me your hand forever and ever. I put a teapot on there so you will always remember how much fun we have when we have our tea parties. ”

  Her eyes move from the charm, to my face and back to the charm. Her little chin wobbles and for a second I fear that I’ve made a mistake. Maybe she isn’t ready for this.

  Those thoughts vanish instantly when she jumps from her seat and throws her arms around my neck. I lose sight of the table when her curls hit me in the face and my arms go around her tiny body.

  “You’re going to be the bestest second daddy in the whole entire world,” she whispers in my ear.

  I HAVE NO CLUE HOW Molly has kept our secret this long, but one week turned in to two, and then two went into three. Before I knew it, work had kept me from executing my plan for a month. Somehow I had gotten roped into working every weekend for the last four straight. When Barnes, one of the other HTPD officers, asked me to work tonight for him, I gave him not just a no, but a hell no.

  With our schedules being as crazy as they are, by the time I would get to Megan’s, Molly would either be going to bed, or already asleep. What little time I’ve had with her, has been rushed.

  I had been hesitant to start spending the night more than every once in a while, but it wasn’t Megan who had put an end to my reluctance. Two weeks ago, it was Molly.

  “Never leave us, Daddy! Never, never, never, ever! Please don’t go. Stop going. We need you. ” Molly sobbed against my chest, where she had launched herself when I tried to leave the house two weeks ago.

  Megan gasped, her hand going to her mouth and her eyes filling with tears. She had heard Molly call me Daddy a few times, but they had been infrequent as if she was testing the waters. There was nothing unsure about the way it came out of her mouth this time. Unable to do anything else with a small human attached to my body like she was trying to fuse herself to me, I sat back down on the couch I had just climbed up from and wrapped her in my arms.

  It was very rare for Molly to have any sort of temper tantrums. Even more unusual for her to cry. I’ve only seen her cry a handful of times. She fell off her bike a month ago and tore her knees to shreds, not one tear. But what’s coming from her right now is rivers of tears.

  “Sweetheart, what’s going on?” I ask and rub her small back, willing her to calm down.

  “You can’t leave us. Please don’t go. We want you forever,” she pleads.

  Hearing her little voice while it begs me to never let go, killed. I look over to Megan to see her shake her head, her eyes red with the strength she’s putting out just to keep her tears locked tight.

  “Molly, look at me, honey,” I request, feeling her body shake with sobs. “Baby, look at me. ”

  Her head comes up, brown eyes red rimmed and her nose and cheeks reddened. I reach over, grab a tissue off the side table next to the couch, and help her dry her face. She sniffles a few times and I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile.

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  “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I was just going to go back to my house tonight. I wasn’t leaving you. I’ll never leave you. ”

  “Wh . . . why can’t you stay?” she demands, her voice shaking with the sadness leftover. “Why can’t you just live here?”

  I look back up to Megan, waiting for her help guiding this conversation. With a nod, she sits down next to us, taking my hand in one of hers and placing the other against Molly’s back.

  “Little bird, it isn’t that he doesn’t want to stay with us, that’s just a big step that when adults decide to make it, they talk about it first. ”

  Molly’s eyes look between the two of us a few times and then with all the wisdom of a small child says, “Then talk about it. ”

  “Uh,” Megan stutters.

  “Mommy, do you want Daddy to live with us forever and ever and always?” she asks, Megan, her small voice strong and sure.

  Megan looks at me, her eyes wide, and I watch as she has a million emotions filter across her face, until finally settling on love.

  “Yeah, little bird, I would love it. ”

  Molly looks from her mom over to me and smiles a little bigger.

  “Daddy, do you want to live with your girls forever and ever and always?”

  With nothing left but to accept that a five-year-old has just put two adults in their place, I tighten my hold on Molly, reach out and pull Megan into our embrace and after moving my head close, I tell her without a shadow of doubt, “Yes, baby. I would love nothing more. ”

  We waited until Molly had gone to bed that night before we finished the conversation. In the end, I moved what I needed and settled into their home. We both decided that selling the only house that Molly has known was a step that would come later, for now, all three of us wanted to be together and together we were.

  Now, a month later from when I had originally planned it, I was coming off a shift and meeting Megan with the rest of our friends at Mike’s.

  After folding my body into the truck, I was about to call Megan when my phone rang.

  “Hey, darlin’,” I answered.

  “Hey you. We’re at Mike’s now. Are you on the way?”

  “Just left the station. Did Molly do okay tonight when you left her?”

  Megan laughs, “Yes, honey. Her fever is gone and she’s jumping around all over the place. I told you the doctor said it was just a little virus and it would run its course. ”

  “That was five days ago,” I complain. “Five days of her running a fever doesn’t make me happy. ”

  Megan lets out a small laugh, “You’ll get used to it, Lee. She’s a kid. They sometimes get sick like that. ”

  “Doesn’t mean I have to like it. ”

  “All right. Let’s take the over-protective mode down a few degrees. She’s fine and need I remind you that she’s with your parents? Parents that have raised a son perfectly, I might add. ”

  “My mom let me wear her heels, baby. I’m not sure we can say perfectly. ”

  Megan laughs and I hear the noise of Mike’s start getting louder.

  “You going in now?” I ask.

  “Yeah, I think everyone else is here. Cohen and Dani are waiting by the door for me. ”

  My chest swells when I think about all of our friends being there for this. It wasn’t hard, talking everyone in to my plans. Hell, they didn’t need a bit of urging. When I mentioned the ring, the girls would never have been able to stay away. The guys don’t care about that like the girls, but I know my friends are just happy that Megan and I have found this together.

  “Right, darlin’. Go inside and grab a drink. I’ll be there soon. ”

&n
bsp; I get her sweet voice telling me she loves me and any nerves that I had earlier evaporated instantly.

  It’s time to go get the girl.

  The bar is crowded when I walk in. I look over to our usual corner and see that Dani had followed through, making sure that Megan was in the chair with her back to the stage. Nate and Cohen see me the second I walk in, clearly being tasked with lookout duty. I watch as dumb and dumber smile huge. Cohen knocks his knee over and it hits Dani, who snaps her head up and looks toward the door. Her eyes connect with mine and I watch as they start to get misty.

  Jesus, that girl.

  Nate coughs so loud that I can hear him across the room and over the music. I shake my head at his obvious move to clue the rest of our friends in that I’ve arrived. Lyn and Lila make a slow circle, looking around the room until they see me. I get a wink from both of them, which always freaks me out when they do twin things. Stella stands and stretches, looking behind her and I get a smile before she turns back toward the group and drops back down on the couch next to the twins.

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  Maddi and her sister, Ember, are less obvious. They’re facing me on the other couch and they don’t react, just give me their eyes as both of them tip their lips up slightly.

  The only one that doesn’t move or react is Zac, but with him sitting next to Megan, there isn’t a way he could do that without her catching on. But I see his hand come out and rest on the back of Megan’s chair. She laughs as he continues whatever they’ve been talking about and without missing a beat, his thumb comes up on the hand resting behind her.

  With a light step, I make my way over to the side of the stage and wait for my turn. I called ahead, so they know what’s going on, but because I got held up at work I wasn’t there right on time.

  I nod at Bennett, the guy in charge of handling the karaoke end of Mike’s, and let him know I’m ready when he is. I wait as two drunken idiots butcher Friends in Low Places and then it’s my turn. Bennett doesn’t announce me, or the song, he just hands the mic over and starts up the only song I requested.

  The first cords of Train’s Marry Me fill the room and I walk to the center of the stage, not feeling a lick of my stage fright as I clear my throat and open my mouth.

  My eyes don’t leave Megan’s back, so I don’t miss her jolting when I sing the first line. She doesn’t turn until I start the chorus. The second those two words are out of my mouth, I watch Zac snag her glass right before it goes crashing to the ground.