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  "The fuck you say!" Coop shouts, startling her enough to flinch.

  "Hush, boy," she scolds.

  "I got your fucking boy," he crudely yells back, grabbing his crotch.

  "Let her finish," I interrupt before Coop can start bellowing again.

  "Oh yes. We are getting to the best part. And the reason that I just sat on that dreadful plane. It really is a pity that you made it out alive. I'm not sure how you're going to be able to face the fact that, once again, your vile soul has tainted more lives. Those poor men...dying because of you."

  Coop isn't the only one who lashes out at that. I hear them all start to yell over each other. I just sit there and stare her in the eyes, refusing to give her what she wants--my pain.

  "As I was saying," she continues. "Since the day you were conceived, you have destroyed everything you touch. Every relationship in direct contact with you suffers. It wasn't enough that my husband left me, cleaning me out and making it so we couldn't have the best of the best. Mason had to suffer the disgusting public school system for years before I rebuilt our empire. You have been nothing but trouble from the beginning. Always doing something ridiculously careless in school. The early drinking and partying. And then disgracing the family by joining the military. Everything you have ever touched is shit, and Mercedes is lucky that she and my grandson got out when they did. Enjoy what's left of your life, Maddox." She goes to stand, and her words hit me like a Mack truck.

  "Hey!" I scream when she is halfway through the room, walking fearlessly through the testosterone-driven minefield. "That's my son and I won't let her keep him from me!"

  Judging by her smile, I would guess that my reaction is just what she was hoping for. After all, how would she dig the knife deeper if I hadn't spoken up?

  "Oh, silly me. I forgot the best part of your bedtime story. He isn't yours. He's Mason's." She throws her head back and lets out an evil cackle. "That's right. Mason and Mercedes--they've been sleeping together for the last four years. They've been trying for a baby for the last two. Didn't you find it odd that the woman who made you wear a condom ended up pregnant? Took longer than they thought since she had to be careful not to show her hand to you and your brother had to finalize his divorce and all."

  Before she leaves, she pushes her hand into her purse and throws something on my lap. Then she turns her back to my shocked face and clicks out the door on her heels.

  She doesn't even spare her son a second thought as she takes off. How she can just so carelessly throw me away again and again will never make sense to me. Nevertheless, she's finally won. Taken everything I had left to live for and slapped me in the face with what she's been drilling into my head my whole life.

  Everything and everyone I've ever touched has been ruined. The evilness she embodies and the demons that have been nipping at my heels since I started walking have won.

  With nothing left to give, I pick up the item on my lap and feel that hope inside me die a painful death.

  Mason, with his arms around Mercedes, is the first thing I see in the close-up shot. The second is the little baby in her arms. The little baby that looks nothing like me. Mason's son. I close my eyes and allow the only tear I'll ever shed over my life to roll down my cheek.

  Never again. I will never allow myself to harm someone else.

  I'm a broken man.

  A broken man with black hole left where his heart used to be.

  I'll get past this, but I will never open myself up to this kind of pain again.

  A blessed life is something I have never known, so I'm not sure why I ever hoped to feel its glory.

  Chapter 5--Emmy--Past

  Night after night, all I have is the stage, my spotlight, and Shawn. Since the night he raped me in the back dressing room six months ago, things have gotten out of hand. The Ram just looks past his rough hands, and Ivy thinks it's just wonderful that I have such a strong and handsome man. When I tried to tell her that that 'strong and handsome man' was raping her daughter daily, she laughed. Told me that I needed to grow up and start learning how to please my man.

  What the hell is wrong with these people?!

  It will be over soon, I remind myself. That's the only thing that pushes me to keep going, to not give up. I've saved every single dollar I've made at Syn. Being the 'Princess of Syn' and knowing what the hell I'm doing when I take the stage have their benefits. They toss money to me left and right. I could leave tonight, but I want to get past this last weekend and get the high rollers who always hit Syn when it's the end of the month. Payday for most, and that's when the biggest money gets tossed onto my stage.

  "You're up in ten, Rose!" Diamond yells as she rushes past me to go change, her huge, fake tits bouncing up and down.

  The smell of her...arousal makes me gag. I'll never understand how she gets off stripping. I guess, for her, it's an exhibition type thing. She loves being watched. Not for me though. I hate showing all these men my body. That's why I demand that the house lights get turned down and only a spotlight. It shields them from me in a way. I get up there and try to forget that I'm dancing naked for them. I let the music take over my body. At this point, it moves as if on autopilot. I go out there, do what is expected of me, and then take my money and run. Usually, I just run right into another piece of my hell.

  Shawn.

  Over the last month, he has become more and more violent, his hands leaving bruises against my arms and hips. Recently, he's left them around my neck, causing me to get creative with my makeup. I stopped fighting him a while back--when it became clear that he got off on my struggles. I have a feeling that his escalated roughness is because he wants me to fight. I just don't care anymore. I'm so close to leaving that there isn't much more he can do to damage me.

  He's already taken so much, and I refuse to give him my pride. I'll hold on to that until my dying breath.

  It's almost time. I'll escape this hell, and when I do, I'm never going to look back.

  **

  My music is just coming to the end. I do my last rotation of the stage, making sure that my naked body is on display to every one of the men pulled up to the stage. Their shouts are almost loud enough to drown out the beat of my music.

  I let my legs go and drop to a split, my pussy hitting the stage, and then I silently say my nightly prayer that I don't catch anything from the exposure. Dropping onto my back, my legs spread, I throw my head back in a mock pose of ecstasy before dragging my hands from my ankles to rest at the apex of my legs. Making sure all these idiots can see every bare inch of my sex.

  The crowd goes electric. Crossing my legs, I roll and get to my knees, where I continue to play with my body. Seducing the crowd to give me every last dollar.

  By the time the last note of my music hits my ears, the stage is so full of money that I can't even see the black flooring through the cash.

  My escape.

  It is worth every second of the humility I just endured.

  I collect the money and stuff it into the bucket that Pearl tosses my way. Then she cleans off the pole as I finish cleaning my earnings off the stage.

  "Thanks," I pant as I rush past her.

  I have about two minutes to dump this money into the safe I keep in my locker before Shawn finds me. Not even giving a care to my nudity, especially since he will just pull anything I put on it my body off, I dump the bucket's contents into my safe and slam it shut.

  I just know that tonight is the night I get the hell out of here.

  "Emersyn, Emersyn, Emersyn. That was quite the show you put on tonight. If I didn't know better, I would think you actually enjoyed yourself out there." He comes up against my back. The cheap fabric of his suit roughly rubs against my oiled skin. "You going to fight me tonight, little Syn?" he rasps against my ear, biting my lobe. He's started asking this question each night he takes me.

  And every night since, I've answered him the same way.

  "In your dreams."

  "One day, Emersyn. One day, when I
have my ring on your finger and your dear old daddy gives me this club, you're going to learn where your fucking place is. Your fucking lippy mouth will only get you so far. The Ram might put up with it, but I sure as hell won't."

  He grips my arms and spins me before pushing me against the lockers. The metal scrapes against my back, cutting it open in some spots, but I don't make a sound.

  "Get on your knees and suck my dick, bitch," he demands.

  I drop instantly, wondering in the back of my head if it's still rape now that I've stopped fighting him.

  It doesn't take him long before he grabs both sides of my head and starts thrusting into my mouth with a bruising force.

  "That's right. Take it all. Take all of Daddy's dick."

  God, how repulsive can he get?

  I attempt to keep my mind from engaging. I let my body take over and try to go to my happy place. When his hand curls around my neck, it becomes obvious why he started this new game. He wants my attention, and what a better way to get it than taking my air?

  When he lifts me to my feet, his needle dick falls from my mouth and I struggle to control the fear at my lack of oxygen. Roughly, he pushes me forward, causing me to crash into the table in the middle of the room. Makeup and clothing scatter around us as he lifts me, flips me, and then slams me onto my back. His hand goes back to my neck before he forcefully pushes into my body.

  I'm on the verge of blacking out, his thrusts picking up speed, but then I finally come out of my head and grab ahold of his wrist with my hands. Trying desperately to get some much-needed air, I claw at his skin, begging with my eyes for him to let up.

  "That's right, Emersyn. Fucking fight me," he pants, sweat beading around his forehead and rolling down his neck. "Fucking fight, bitch!" he screams into my face.

  I'm seconds from passing out when I feel his body disappearing. I sit up, struggling to let the air in, and meet the crystal-blue eyes of my savior.

  "You okay?" he asks.

  I nod mutely. A million questions rush through my head, but not a single word escapes before he nods and slams his fist into Shawn's face. I want to weep when I watch him crumple to the floor, passed out cold.

  "I'm Zeke, but my friends call me Coop. I know you don't know me, but I promise you can trust me. I was walking to the bathroom and I heard him...and, shit..." he trails off, running his hands through his thick, blond hair. "I'm not going to hurt you, but I would like to help if you'll let me."

  I can't stop the tears if I wanted to. Silently, I nod, still not trusting myself to speak. Then I hastily throw my clothes on, open the safe, and shovel all the cash I have into my duffel bag. There's nothing else here I need.

  "Come on. Let's get you out of here." He reaches out, my savior, and takes me out of my hell.

  I don't look back once.

  **

  Coop takes me back to his hotel, helps me get cleaned up, and offers me some clean clothes that don't smell like an ashtray. He only leaves me long enough to get some bandages to clean up the cuts on my back. I'm not sure what it is about him that has me trusting him instantly. Maybe it's because, as far as options go, he's my best one. For all I know, he's some crazy serial killer and I'm playing right into his hands.

  The whole time he dabs alcohol on my back, I don't utter a word. Not until he tells me that I won't ever have to go back there. I sharply turn my head and look right into his eyes before laughing.

  "I have no where else to go. I have to go back."

  He shakes his head and smiles. "Nah. I've got your back now. Chin up, buttercup. We're a team now."

  **

  True to his word, Coop became almost like a brother to me. He took me in and helped me get stronger. He had to go out to California, where he worked for a security company, but he made sure I was taken care of. They stayed busy and he hated leaving me alone, always worried that something would happen.

  Six months after the momentous day he saved me from Shawn, he finally introduced me to Axel Reid, the owner of Corps Security, where Coop worked. Axel was apprehensive about hiring me since I was so young, but their company was growing so quickly, and college education or not, I'm now gratefully employed as a secretary for Corps Security.

  For once, things are starting to look up. I have a great friend and a caring boss, and I wasn't scared. I've mapped out my five-year plan, and I'm finally allowing myself to dream. All of those dreams explode in my face when I finally come face to face with him.

  "Uh...can I help you?" I ask the man standing in front of my desk.

  "Name."

  "Excuse me?"

  His face remains expressionless. His dark eyes don't travel down to my chest like I've been used to over the years, but he keeps me tapped in his gaze. My body becomes more and more paralyzed with each passing second that I look at this man.

  "Your name," he repeats.

  "You want my name?" I stupidly reply.

  One dark brow cocks without losing his stoic mask and he just waits. My cheeks heat and I have to fight my body's reaction to this man in front of me.

  "Em...Emersyn. Emmy. I mean, I'm Emmy," I whisper.

  He nods and then walks past my desk and down the hall.

  It takes me a second to clear the unexpected fog of lust that is taking over my body. I jump up from my seat so quickly that it rolls into the wall behind me before I run after the tall, dark, stranger.

  "Wait!" I yell.

  He stops but doesn't turn.

  "You can't just walk in here," I gasp at his back.

  "It's fine, Emmy. That's Locke. He's our technical specialist. He's just been out of town." Beck says softly behind me.

  I turn to gape at Beck, my mouth opening and closing like a guppy.

  He just shakes his head and looks to where Locke is still standing with his back to us. "It's cool, Em. Just go on back to the front, okay?" He offers me a sad smile and turns to walk over to Locke.

  I give him another glance, noticing how tense his body is strung. His hands are clenched in a firm fist and his shoulders are pulled tight.

  I head back to the front, thinking about Locke. He's so intense. My body was on fire just from his eyes. He spoke three words to me and I'm already hooked.

  It wasn't love at first sight, but I'm drawn to him. Even now, with him down the hall from me, I can feel my skin tingle with the memory of his black eyes holding my own.

  With a smile, I return to my work and think to myself that my five-year plan just got a lot more interesting.

  Chapter 6--Emmy--Present Time

  That son of a bitch!

  Who the hell does he think he is? For years, he's treated me with indifference. The only time I got past his thick shield was at Axel and Izzy's wedding. He had so much to drink that he doesn't even remember that he almost took me against the wall at the reception. Not one of my finest moments, but I savored those precious memories of his mouth and hands on my body. I'm not proud of it or what it makes me, but that small memory has carried me through some tough times lately.

  Like a naive little girl, I've harbored my crush on Maddox Locke since the first time I met him back in California. It took losing the one person I considered family to wake me the hell up. I've been panting after the one man who couldn't care less about me, giving him every second of my dreams, only to get pushed down each and every time. Sure, I've dated here and there, but no one has ever made me feel the way he did. It was hopeless.

  Every since the day that Coop died, I feel like I've been struggling to find my place. Find where I belong. His death kills me daily. We weren't as close as we had been four years ago. Between things picking up at CS and our moving from California to Georgia, we were just too busy. I regret that daily. I know I looked stupid for running, but I couldn't stay. Not when I'd lost the one person who'd had my back like no one else. Sure, I was close with the girls--especially Melissa--but something held me back from giving them one hundred percent of Emersyn. To this day, the only ones who know my whole story are Axel and..
.well, Coop.

  I'm sure the other guys know bits and pieces, but they don't know everything. Axel made me a promise the day I met him that he would do his best to never let my past come up again. I'll never forget his words.

  "We all have our battles. We get past them the best we can by putting one foot in front of the other. Looking back doesn't do anything but make it hurt a little more."

  So that's what I did. I did it for four years as I worked for the boys and then I did it again when Coop gave his life and saved me again.

  One foot in front of the other.

  "You have a lot of nerve, Maddox Locke," I deadpan.

  He takes his eyes off the road and levels me with what I'm sure is meant to be one of his signature shut-the-hell-up glares. They don't work on me anymore. I don't care. He's kept me dangling by a string of desire for years now. I prayed that he would just look at me. And now, now that I'm working on fixing myself, he thinks he can just storm right in and save the day.

  "What do you want from me? Huh? Is this some sick game with you?!"

  He ignores me. Not that I expected anything less. But it does nothing but fuel my fire. How dare he!

  "Four years, you idiot! I all but handed myself over to you. The only thing that was missing was a freaking bow and a cherry on the top! Four stupid years I wanted you. And now... What is this now? I'm not good enough for you, but you still want me to die a little inside by forcing me to be around you?"

  His jaw ticks, but that's all I get.

  "Answer me! Why! Why now?"

  Nothing.

  "I hate you!" I exclaim, hating the taste of those words from my mouth when directed him. I don't hate him and I probably never could. I'm not really sure what that says about me at this point.

  I have to hold on to the dash when his car suddenly swerves to the shoulder and comes to a jarring halt. He doesn't move to face me. Hell, he doesn't move at all. He just faces forward with his white-knuckle grip on the wheel and his chest moving rapidly with each breath he forces through his nose.

  But he still refuses to speak.

  "I loved you once, you know," I whisper more to myself than to him, but he hears me because I watch his eyes close. "I loved you unconditionally even though I was--no, even though I am--nothing to you. I left because being around you and trying to get over the fact that I'm the reason why Coop is dead was just too much. I was dying, daily, every time you would look at me but look right through me. I'm not sure why I thought that you would somehow be there for me when you never had been before."